Narrating "the" World

This entry is in response to WanderingThinker's question from my first entry:

"Out of curiosity, do you hold more faith in Catholicism now then you did back then in high school? (your tense left me unsure) Or do you hold beliefs in line with a different particular religion or more of a view separate from any particular faith given your studies of religions?"

The question of what my beliefs are has more and more become a difficult thing to answer, especially because of my studies in religion and philosophy. But I'll do my best to answer in a cohesive way...

Long story short, no, I do not hold more faith in Catholicism than I did in high school, but I embrace the practices and ethical teachings of Catholicism more so than before, and I find Catholicism to be a beautiful religion. I also embrace and find beauty in the practices and teachings from other religions, namely Soto Zen. As a result, I've come to form my own "religion," which evolves as I evolve. But here is the long story, anyway:

Taken from Paul Brockelman, Mark C. Taylor, and other postmodern religious scholars, I believe that religion is a person's narrative, or interpretation, of the world. How does the world work? What is valuable in the world, and why? What are people, animals, plants, *life*... and how do they operate and affect me? With this definition of religion, essentially all conscious human beings are religious, for in the act of being conscious, one interprets the world in which he or she lives. In the wake of globalization and the realization of multiple languages, religions, cultures, political-economic systems, scientific theories, and so on, there is no absolute truth, and being trapped in our linguistic reality (Heidegger, Derrida), we are unable to refer to or assert the reality of a translinguistic or transcendental Other (read: in Western language, "God").

Despite this limitation, the possibility of a transcendental being itself is still in the air. We just cannot firmly assert one way or another its existence; our assertions at this point rely on our faith, our individual interpretation or narratives of the world.

That said, I loved studying and practicing Soto Zen Buddhism in Japan last year. I cannot say that I'm an official "practitioner" of Soto Zen because I find many of their requirements to living the detached life too difficult, haha. Frankly, I get bored meditating for so long and so regularly, and I rather enjoy material things, pursuing my desires, and dressing nicely (though I'm not obsessed). I also am quite attached to the idea that I have a self, an ego. But I do like the philosophy a lot, especially the idea of the interconnectedness of all beings, and I highly recognize the benefits of meditation and moderating the chasing of my desires. I very much like the Eightfold Path, which Buddhists believe is the way to end one's suffering.

When I am very upset and there's no one around to comfort me, I remember my days in Japan when my classmates and I would chant the Heart Sutra in Japanese every morning. Please take a look at it here. Its multiple contradictions echo the limitation of language, encourage freedom from desire (for desire is the cause of our suffering, as well as our happiness), and insightful truths in our (self-contradicting) world. Now, as I said, I would chant this in Japanese, and the Japanese itself is unintelligible because it is based off of the sounds of the Chinese characters from which they derive (in other words, even a native Japanese speaker wouldn't know what I'm saying). But this act of almost sheer "mindlessness" in chanting gives me a soothing feeling. My mind clears because I am not thinking of anything; I am just chanting.

I get a similar feeling of mindlessness when I am at Catholic Mass. At Mass, Catholics and the priest recite almost the same darn things every time, and it feels like a script. For most of my life, I found this ritual incredibly boring, and I loathed it. But now I am calmed by its habituation, and the fact that everyone around me is doing it (especially when we are singing--I really like singing) as well is powerful. I am also comforted in being in a place where I have been to my whole life. Now, I think the priest would actually want me to think about what I am saying and *mean* it when I respond with, "Amen" or "Glory to you, oh Lord." But oh well, I will privately get from Mass what I want. :)

I also enjoy the sermons by the priest. I may not believe in the resurrection of Jesus or the persona of the Lord, but I do like the weekly contemplations on ethics and the virtuous way of living. They keep me actively reflecting on my day-to-day actions.

Soooo, I take from these religions (and others) various practices and philosophies to help me live a calm, virtuous, examined life. Remember what Socrates said, after all! As for my "dogma," I believe that all life forms are interconnected, constantly affecting one another. We are continuously creating ourselves and each other. To steal from a Zen monk's interpretation of reincarnation, we are continuously being reborn in other people, and vice versa, by the way we affect each other. [An even more powerful metaphor is the Hindu belief that all beings are personas of God, and thus the utmost reverence and respect for people should be given.] There is a spiritual force within all of nature, the universe, and ourselves, but I don't see that force as being like the Father figure of Christian Catholicism. But because that force exists, I think that there is no fate, that whatever happens is dictated by what is decided in the present, and that no one thing is in control--which, at the same time, means that all life forces are in control.

To recognize this non-dualism, this impermanence and dynamism of life, is to see things "as they are" (to sound Buddhist again), to accept things as they are, to seize this fact and take responsibility for your life, and to respect all beings, as well as yourself. My increased "knowledge" (which is also an interpretive endeavor) in economics, political science, religion, etc. and especially natural science (with the wake of string theory, Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, and Einstein's energy equation) increase my reverence for and fascination with the dynamics of life.