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kthxbyeluvluv :3

Money

People who say, "Money doesn't matter," are part of one or more of these cohorts:

1) the delusional,
2) the rich,
3) the enlightened buddhas of this world,
4) the nuns,
5) other religious figures who have truly reached a state of peace,
6) other religious figures who secretly reel in the dough through their corrupt institutions,
7) indigenous tribes, or
8) other people who live within economic systems that don't use money (maybe they barter instead).


Note that, other than genuine religious figures or people of different economic systems, people who actually have no money are not listed.

Do homeless people beg you to have no money either, or for you to give them money (or things that money can buy, such as food, shelter, etc.)?

To my privileged classmates who have always had a roof over their head and a Beamer in their garage, it's cute that you criticize me for not being a 'true intellectual' because I am 'chickening out' and not pursuing the 'life of the mind.' I can very well give myself "mental masturbation" (in my professor's most erudite words) with Kant after a hard day's work. Like most people who are just as smart and usually more mature than you, I can't afford to do it all day for my goal, and that's my reality.

[That is, until you hit $75k/year. Then yeah, more money doesn't matter... kinda. Well, for me at least.]

/endrant

P.S. I'd love to compare happiness levels of countries later on. Fun tidbit from above article:

• "...Americans come out as a bit of a mixed lot: they're fifth in terms of happiness, 33rd in terms of smiling and 10th in terms of enjoyment. At the same time, they're the 89th biggest worriers, the 69th saddest and fifth most stressed people out of the 151 nations studied. Even so, perhaps because of the country's general wealth, they are in the top 10 citizenries where people feel their lives are going well, beaten out by such eternal optimists as the Canadians, New Zealanders and Scandinavians."

Footnotes

In light of my last post, I must clear up a few things.

I am aware that the professions I examined the most (professors and lawyers) include many people with happy, healthy families. The problem is, these professionals were all born 20 to 40 years ago. I'll be a graduate entering today's disastrous economy and job market. Had I been born years earlier, I may very well have taken on the professorial or law track. It neither would have been as much of a financial risk, nor would it have put my goal of having a happy family in jeopardy. Unfortunately, these professions have truly become reserved for the leisure/upper class (and the incredibly lucky) and are no longer (relatively) risk-free means of scaling up the social ladder for the hardworking middle class. When you get out of school, hard work alone is just not enough.

Plus, the divorce rate for lawyers of these past generations has always been notoriously high.

I used to think that it would be beneath myself to take on less "prestigious," more common jobs. I used to look at my part-time job supervisors with snobbish elitism, saying to myself, "I'll never do these simple things for a career." I wasn't alone in this thinking--it's characteristic of my generation (see 5 Ways We Ruined the Occupy Wall Street Generation). Now I am noticing that these people lead relatively stress-free lives, and many of them have families. Furthermore, their jobs are nothing to be "ashamed" of (see Most Underrated Jobs of 2011). All occupations contribute to the functioning of our society in some form or another. It is many times the rich and "prestigious" who corrupt that functioning...

I am coming to terms with the sad reality that my majors (religion and East Asian studies) are not very well-valued in today's capitalist society obsessed with global competitiveness (this is emblazoned on the U.S. Department of Education's mission statement: "to promote student achievement and preparation for global competitiveness by fostering educational excellence and ensuring equal access"). If grad school, seminary or the translating field are not viable options for me, my BA is nothing more than a generic testament of my competence. (though teaching is not completely out the window for me, and I will talk about that later). A BA is valuable and I'm quite happy that I'll be earning one in a few months, but I must be open to alternative career choices that allow me to

1) live a comfortable life, and
2) raise a family reasonably well (time- and money-wise).

Granted, I am not regretting my decision to major in what I wanted to because I have grown, matured, learned a lot, have a much more open mind now, and wouldn't have met such wonderful people--think, not only would my professors have changed, but also my classes, classmates, and very dear friends.

I am also not discarding all my other interests. I also ideally want this career to be intellectually challenging, stimulating, respectable (though doesn't need to be the iconic elite job), isn't too ethically questionable (and so I'd really like to avoid corporations), and tests my abilities to a high degree.

Plus, I'm certainly open to forms of entrepreneurship.  An older coworker of mine told me that the people who tend to be happiest with their jobs are those who are their own bosses. They make the most out of their own talents and work on their own schedules, oftentimes in their own homes (or at least their own establishments). That's great stuff. G. Stoyalrov II, the guy whose YouTube video I linked in an earlier post on reasons not to pursue a Ph.D., advocates this himself, and from his profile and prolific online presence, it seems he's doing quite well. Entrepreneurship is risky business, too, but it is something I'm willing to pursue on the side as I become more financially independent with a stable career.

I'm stil figuring out what career would be suitable for me given these guidelines, but I have an idea or two and will talk about them in a post to come.

Self-assessment, Part 3: Family

Two months ago, with the help of whom I shall call "Mr. Fantastic," I decided to compile a list of everything about which I am passionate. As the main theme of this blog implies, I had a hard time figuring out exactly what makes me happy in terms of a career... so I hoped making such a list would help me. I realized I could honestly do almost anything since I am a very adaptable person with many interests--and this, my friends, is highly problematic in a society that prizes specialization. In any case, this is part of what my list looked like:

• Mr. Fantastic
• Family
• Taking care of people
• Ethics
• Yoshi
• Video games
• Reading
• Learning and learning leeearning
• Mr. Fantastic
• Food
• Eating like a guy (which Mr. Fantastic finds cool)
• Talking about random things (with Mr. Fantastic)
• Writing
• Technology
• Researching anything
• Music
• Piano
• Serving
• Mr. Fantastic
• Cute things
• Nature
• Telling Mr. Fantastic what to do
• Problem-solving
• Education
• Laughing and smiling (which Mr. Fantastic likes)
• Movies
• Mr. Fantastic

This was the order in which I (and Mr. Fantastic, over my shoulder) thought these things up.

There was another notable exercise I did last year. A mentor of mine introduced me and some peers to a game called Headlines. For each year stated, each person would create a "headline" that would capture a big event or characterize that year for them. The usual things people said were, "In 2010 I got [this scholarship]... In 2008 I got accepted to [fancy university]... In 2005 I won [this competition]..." When it was my turn, I would say things like this:

• "In 2010 I ended a very unhealthy relationship and was so depressed. I had never felt more alone... In 2008 I left my home for the first time to go to college, and I cried a lot... In 2005 I had an English class with someone who turned out to be one of my favorite teachers ever..."

What's the difference? If I were to write my own autobiography, I wouldn't title my chapters based on each credential I earned; I would title them by significant events in my social life.

[Which is kinda funny because I don't consider myself a very "social" person.]

So, there's a trend. And as I've been contributing to this blog and contemplating on the sources of happiness in my life, I did keep coming back to the people I love. Most of all, of course, Mr. Fantastic. Then I remembered these exercises. I remember being frustrated that my list didn't point me to any specific career (well, perhaps something coming out of grad school or law school, but you know how I feel about those, now). But what this list does show me is the lifestyle I would want, as well at least the nature of my career.

We must also consider what I didn't list: money, prestige, big house... even the word career. And I can honestly tell you that I don't think any one academic subject awakens within me a fire of passion, so at least for now I can stop trying to convince myself that I even like the idea of these 'prestigious' careers. I can stop lying to myself. I can forget all about grad school and law school. 

Granted, at another point in my life, if I were to make a list, it would be quite different. But then, was I even close to figuring out what made me happy before? I would've needed to be quite happy to figure it out. In these past months, though, I realized that I have indeed been happier than at any other point in my life. Sure, I've been doing well in class, enjoying class, keeping in shape, and so on--but at the end of the night and in the wake of the morning, what really put a smile on my face were thoughts of Mr. Fantastic. And needless to say, I more than treasured the now-very-limited time I have with my family and old friends this winter break. So in summary, what makes me happiest are my loved ones. And being in love, especially!

You may think, damn, Marie, it took you all this time figure that out? 

Embarrassingly...yes? 

Alternately, you may ask, Marie, you might graduate summa cum laude with all these things on your resume, and your only dream is to marry someone and have a family? Like some goody two-shoes girl from the 20th/19th/18th... century?

I guess so.

What about being a doctor??? 

Who are you, my parents? 
And is there something wrong with my desires? 

When I was heavily researching law school and grad school, I figured out that the biggest thing lurking in the back of my mind was that at some point in my life, I really want a to live happily with someone and have a family of our own.  I want to have time with my family to take care of them and enjoy being with them. [I won't say anything more because of all the people I know reading this blog of nonsense.] Therefore, the hugest problems I have with law school and grad school are these:

• The six-digit debt will bring mounds of stress to me and my future family. How can I expect this family to live comfortably and save for the children's education if I'm still trying to pay off mine (that didn't give me much output, to boot) years and years later? I feel ridiculously selfish to pursue extra schooling and satiate my desire to learn while throwing thousands of dollars out the window, having lots of debt in the end.
• The three-to-five year commitment will delay a lot of planning for a family. It's not as much of an issue for a man, but for a woman school is not conducive to the mother-worker/student. 
• Considering that even if I miraculously land a job as a tenure-track professor or big-shot lawyer, I will most likely not enjoy either career, I cannot imagine what a strain that will put on my relationships. 
• Furthermore, being a lawyer in particular is not conducive to having free time. 60 to 80 hours of [stressful] work a week? For menial pay, at that? (if we actually calculate # of hours worked and # of dollars earned, it's actually not much for most lawyers and is certainly not worth the law school investment)

If I didn't care so much about having a family, I could easily dismiss these things and just say, "Well, I can try it out. Parents are willing to pay big bucks anyway for their daughter to get a fancy title. If I get the job (whichever path I end up choosing), I'll work loads but I'll be a distinguished person! And if it doesn't work out, I can live with my parents while finding an alternate career." 

I'm snickering. A bit. 

And it's quite depressing having this revelation that most of my life has revolved around impressing people (teachers, parents, sibling, society). That's why I've made myself a damn good student. But school is ending, bills and loans must be paid, and I'm growing up with a ticking biological clock and turning back to those simple desires--you know, being with loved ones. [And food and books and... but, seriously...!] And most importantly, these are my desires, not others' induced onto me. 

In any case, I do realize that I perhaps think far too ahead of myself. What self-respecting 22-year-old, 21st-century graduating senior [woman] would put the prospect of having a family as the first thing in her mind? I'm not even engaged, for crying out loud. And of course I don't want children this early in my life! This is all assuming someone would actually want to marry me and have a family; for all I know, I could just end up a spinster with a house full of kitties. [Lordy, that looks depressing. But at least I'll be surrounded by cute, furry things.] 

But if my original question to myself was, "What really makes me happy?" then I have finally succeeded at answering it. And I suppose that is all that matters for now. 

Some people's number one goal in life is to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, a professor, or to be famous, make it rich, cure cancer, save the starving children, cleanse the world of all people except those with blond hair and blue eyes... But my number one goal is different. My career and everything  else come second and ideally revolve around this goal.

Besides, it's at least not dumb to think about finances, time commitments, etcetera, especially in our currently BOOMING in DEBT economy in these United States. After reading those all-too-common horror stories of newly-minted JDs and humanities Ph.D.'s today, I cannot imagine raising a family in such conditions. No, friends, I will sacrifice my selfish desire to learn in higher ed for my even greater selfish desire of procreating (or I guess adopting is good too if I can't do that) and nurturing. 

Nurturing? Liek nursing? Liek, hmm...

[addendum 2 to part 2 and, partially, part 1: a letter from a 1L]

This is yet another great post by LawProf (reminder: he's tenured professor Paul Campos of the University of Colorado Law School, T1, #40 something). This morning he posted (with the author's permission) a letter written to him by a 1L seeking advice on whether she should drop out of law school, as well as a thorough response that neatly summarizes the problems of law school today.

These are excerpts from the 1L's letter, with my bolded emphases that tie to me and my concerns about grad school as well:

"I'm a 1L at [top 15ish law school].  I'm 30...Before law school, I [had a real job] and made quite a good salary.  I went back to law school for a few (potentially poor) reasons . . . I also have an insatiable love for learning.  My happiest days were spent writing my thesis in undergrad.  Back then, I dreamed of a PhD, but the job prospects scared me off.

So, I went to law school...completely freaked out by the debt load (which I will carry by myself, as my mother is a part-time [academic] and has no retirement plan)...I told myself that the degree would pay for the opportunity and actual costs.  The placement statistics on the school's website gave me comfort and I took the plunge.

But now I'm fearing I've made a huge mistake.  As an older student, I can't read for 20 hours a day like my peers...  I have a wonderful relationship with a live-in partner, an amazing (though impoverished) family and a gang of swell friends.  I refuse to give up these relationships for law school...though I do enjoy the classes and the readings, I don't expect to be in the top 10% of my class and probably not even in the top 40%.

So here is my dilemma - I want a career that will fulfill my desire to serve.  I'm a people person to the core, and I love feeling like I'm making a positive difference in people's lives. I also want to be able to provide for my mom as she ages and maybe start a family of my own in the next decade.  I don't want to work myself to death (been there, done that), but I do want to be able to live semi-comfortably.

I recently discovered that the stats up on [my law school’s] site are basically lies.  I've met 10 (!) totally unemployed recent alums, all who passed the bar first try and...top 50% of class...more who took the public interest route and are making way less than half of my previous salary.  All these folks are 25 and miserable and staring at almost 200K in debt with no way to pay it.  I'm afraid I'll be right there with them, except I'll be in my mid-30's, which I fear will make me even less employable..."

His response:

"...you don't strike me as the kind of person who would find being a big firm lawyer anything other than a truly miserable experience.  You want to serve people, but that kind of job is all about servicing the needs of big corporate clients...Much of it will be utterly routine paper pushing that you won't be able to believe someone is being billed $400 for you to perform. Meanwhile you will be paid about one-tenth of that per hour actually worked.

...About 35% of [your school's] grads are currently getting such jobs.  But only about half those people, at best, will still be in them five years down the road.  So the odds of an average grad [from your school] getting and keeping a big law job for long enough to get rid of most of their debt load are not good -- maybe 15%.

....in any case you would, I think, be truly unhappy if you "won" the big firm lottery, and based on your email you don't strike me as the kind of person who would be OK with being miserable for the sake of a high paying high status but basically wretched job.

What about alternatives to big law? The problem, as you probably know, is that the kinds of jobs people such as yourself are actually suited for -- cause lawyering, broadly defined -- are if anything even more difficult to get than big firm jobs, and on top of that pay ridiculous salaries that will keep you in a state of indentured servitude to the government for a decade (That's a best case scenario. IBR could be eliminated next year if Romney is president).  If you went to law school in part to have a decent level of economic security while helping to support your mother, these jobs aren't viable choices...

What else is there between Big Law and cause lawyering, i.e., public interest/government?  Not much these days.  Working for a small firm basically combines many of the disadvantages of Big Law with those of public interest work, without most of the advantages of either..."

See the rest here. 


Also, as one commenter noted, the woman cited she had a desire for learning, but not a desire to be a lawyer. Oh gawd, we're not as unique as we think we are sometimes.

[Also, let me know if I just did something bad by reposting more than 30% of someone's blog post without his permission even if I cited it.]